You skate around some more, watching the terror you've unleashed. Then people start to get used to it. Your teammates come up and pat you on the back, nodding their approval. You finally feel accepted for who you are.

You find the seam at your jaw, cleverly hidden by your disgusting beard. Slowly, you pull away your human mask, revealing the nightmarish tangle of unspeakable horrors beneath. The crowd's enthusiasm turns to revulsion, and they begin clawing at their eyes and vomiting uncontrollably.\n\nWhat do you do?\n\n[[Announce the beginning of the end|apocalypse]]\n[[Skate around a bit|skate more]]

"Just kidding!" you announce. The crowd immediately explodes into a fit of laughter. You tell them to shut up, and then clarify that you're just kidding once again. They eat it up.\n\nA television producer contacts you and you become the star of a hit sitcom called "Just Kidding!"

You circle the arena once and go out the way you came in. The sound of shattering glass, guttural screams and the stampede of a thousand feet follows you. Now you are running for your life as your fans hound you.\n\nYou round a corner and they're already there, grasping arms outstretched. There is no escape. When they are done with you, only blood-stained shreds of your jersey remain.

SKATE BROS\n\nYou skate out onto the ice. The arena is filled with the thunder of your fans cheering your name.\n\nWhat do you do?\n\n[[Flip them the bird|bird]]\n[[Skate around a bit|skate]]\n[[Pull off your human mask to show your true face|mask]]

You skate around the arena, surveying your fans. They are so filled with excitement that their faces become twisted charicatures of joy. Froth pours from their lips as they beat their faces against the protective glass in ecstacy. You feel a little uncomfortable.\n\nWhat do you do?\n\n[[This human mask is a little itchy...|mask]]\n[[Skate out of the arena|leave]]\n[[Take off your clothes|clothes]]

Dave Hoffman

You yell "Shut up!" at the baby. To your astonishment, the baby yells back, "No, you shut up!" You're not exactly sure what to do. It turns out the baby is in fact a very small man. Not just any small man, in fact, but the reclusive manager of your team, who no one has ever seen before. He sticks a cigar in his tiny mouth and lights it with your burning contract.\n\nYou will spend the rest of your wretched life in poverty.

Skate Bros

In your ancient tongue, you announce the end of the world. The ice opens below you and black tentacles emerge to swallow all that lives on Earth. You sit upon your obsidian throne and command an army of skeletons.\n\nToday was a good day.

A hush falls over the crowd. Only the sound of your skates against the ice reverberates as you trace a figure eight, displaying your middle finger in full view. A baby begins crying.\n\nWhat do you do?\n\n[[Yell that you were just kidding|kidding]]\n[[Yell for that baby to shut up|baby]]\n

As you strip, the fervor of the audience begins to die down. They are confused by this unexpected turn of events. You get down to your underpants when the coach runs up to you. "No, no. I've explained this to you before. Hockey is your day job, stripping is your night job. Get it straight." You apologize and begin to reach for your clothes. He stops you. "It's too late now, just play as you are and pretend nothing happened."\n\nYou score a record number of goals that game. You become an international superstar and make millions starring in ads for Fruit of the Loom.